Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
