FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
