The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
