maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
