He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize