No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
