I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
