So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
