Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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