put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
