I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
