On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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