You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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