i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
where am i from again
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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