I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
pray to the hookup gods
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
