I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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