Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
