You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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