she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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