I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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