How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
