from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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