I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I have fence marks all over my body
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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