I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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