I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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