4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be your penis for a week.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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