i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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