please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
