its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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