So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
