If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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