they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
