My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
