I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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