Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Hippo gnu deer
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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