she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
