Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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