I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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