Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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