If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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