I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
