She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
