I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
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