I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
