forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
