speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
