you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize