just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
you made out with another girl for some wings
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick