Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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