so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
handjob tips. give me some.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
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Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
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Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
as a side note pls kill me
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