I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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