do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
