I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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