We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
