Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
