the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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