I hate your face
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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