so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
