She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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