How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
