Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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