If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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